Okay, so this is supposedly the point where I am meant to apologise profusely* and throw myself at your feet in complete deference. Well, that’s where you would be wrong. If you’d holidayed in Port Douglas and drunk your own weight in Pommery perhaps you’d understand. Sure, posts have been a bit thin on the ground; but surely you’ve got a life other than the internet. If not, I hope the test pattern above is hurting your head as much as mine is now.

I do believe there’s more for you to read: