I was recently taken to lunch with a corporate supplier as a thank you. Unfortunately, my supplier became so inebriated that I (the client), was forced to pick up the (substantial) bill from my personal finances, as they were unable to sign their name. Is there a polite way of recouping the cost of this lunch or am I best to wear the expense for the sake of the relationship?

Scrooge McDuck, Melbourne

Dear Scrooge McDuck,

In any industry, Fridays lend themselves to the boozy work luncheon. Being a career chameleon over the past decade, I have witnessed and participated in the drunken debauchery that occurs at the conclusion of the week in at least four different professions. From personal experience, I can attest that architects are heavy drinkers, followed closely by those in the fashion industry (but only if it’s French), PR tarts, marketers and designers are next; and as for writers – they drink the combined share of all of the above!

Regardless of the sector, one notion stays the same: with any work-related entertainment that involves alcohol, there is likelihood for catastrophe. Maintaining professionalism and not seeming like a square is difficult, and paired with the unpredictability of your co-workers or clients, it is an exercise requiring great skill. I’ve seen people burst into tears, others take a nap in the loo, and some resort to violence or passive aggression when under-the-influence – behaviour that would never be acceptable within the confines of the workplace. Unfortunately, on Fridays some people seem to lose their sense of reason and are forced to remain sheepish on Monday morning after a weekend of self-reproach.

My dear friend – who shall remain nameless – loves a tipple and on some occasions has reached the point where their signature is also indiscernible. My solution? I learnt how to sign for them. Sure there’s a very grey area concerning the legality of this (they consented to my signing on their behalf), however, waitresses across the city are understandably suspicious of anyone who signs with an ‘X’. Take the offensive: write your supplier a thank you card to express your gratitude for the lunch; and inside, enclose the receipt for the meal, along with a slip of paper with your bank account details. This will save any unnecessary embarrassment on both your parts and demonstrates your ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ attitude. You might be surprised that your act of discretion will strengthen your relationship rather than straining it. Know for next time – should you lunch together – their propensity to get a little carried away and ensure they have water at-hand and when things are headed into dangerous territory, suggest that the bill be settled before you continue. You’ll form an excellent bond, and if you play your cards right, you’ll never have to drink below the top shelf again. God bless the intoxicated!

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