What a charming young lady we have in the delightful Letisha. From the get-go the twenty-one-year-old Queenslander is combative and has apparently worked her way through her duty-free allocation. Declaring that she will urinate on the bus unless it stops for her, she and Mrs Shrager lock horns early on; Mrs Shrager declaring that Letisha is the rudest girl she has ever encountered and that she and Mrs Harbord should seriously consider whether she be allowed to attend Hereford Hall. We learn that Letisha is a self-proclaimed layabout who spends her days eating, drinking and reclining in bed. Introduced to her parents, we learn that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree with both of them looking like they walked off the set of Crimestoppers.

Bogan by name, bogan by nature, Kaila is mischievous nymph who could do with a good dressing down. In her defence, she appears to be the only ladette who is keen to repent after coming from a broken home and realising that she has no other option. Her antics in a shopping trolley were laughable and her tracksuit pants in need of a good wash or donation to the Salvation Army. My highlight was when she insisted on washing her hands against Mrs Shrager’s wishes before cooking an egg. I must admit, I did agree with her conduct, however, the lesson ain’t over until the fat lady says so.

Insipid, mouthy and this season’s ‘looker’, the twenty-three-year-old West Australian has a anger management issues and both a bark and a bite to match. Taking road rage to a whole new level she’s quick to react and despite being one of the elder of girls, seems one of the most immature. Forgetting her ‘present-day attractive’ visage she’s the kind of girl you wouldn’t want to look at sideways or leave around sharp objects or children. Her first act of defiance was brazen dishonesty when she was ejected from the Deportment class and sent to Mrs Harbord’s office, only to return with a smarmier disposition and without the Principal. With natural talent for filleting salmon, she’s definitely one to watch; from behind toughened steel, of course.

Once-married, twice brash, self-confessed party girl, Kerryn is a twenty-four-year-old Brisbanian with a bent to kleptomania. She says, “I have a bad habit of destroying or stealing stuff from pubs. Nothing like waking up and not remembering a thing but having a f–kload of souvenirs to prove I had a f–kin’ wicked time! Woo-hoo!” She also rejected from pubs (“I hate clubs ‘cos you have to dress up and line up and pay to get in!”) on a regular basis.

Our tubby friend is the mouth of the south; hailing from rural Victoria, she escaped the responsibility of the business her parents bought for her and hot-footed it to Queensland without their knowing. Hailing drinking as her favourite pastime, she’ll struggle with elocution with her broad Australian accent. She would most like Lindsay Lohan to play her in a movie “‘cos she is a redhead and has freckles, not to mention she totally rocks and knows how to party and do random s–t”. Apart from being a harlot, apparently Samantha is a wordsmith.

Corpulent, flatulent and insolent, Kelly the twenty-one-year-old Victorian is one lass who cannot hold her liquor. Known for getting smashed, vomiting, passing out then doing it all over again in a single night. We’re yet to become better acquainted with Kelly, but if her face like a smacked bum is anything to go by, she’s going to provide us with endless entertainment in the coming weeks.

Trashy, vocal and with eyebrows that are trying to escape her face, Shari is a twenty-year-old hell-bent on having fun. Flashing her boobs to passing traffic, strangers and her friends alike, her mantra is that “clothes just get in the way of a good time”. After getting her jugs out at the week’s challenge – a garden party – she was reduced to tears when she elicited the ‘slut word’ from etiquette coach, Mrs Liz Brewer, who mightn’t have the trout-like appearance of her counterparts, but who scores extra points in the cold-hearted bitch department.

Nineteen-year-old Jessica from Victoria is a delightful creature with seven tattoos, a foul mouth and zero class. Her stripping isn’t only restricted to Melbourne’s most insalubrious gentlemen’s clubs, but to any surface she is able to climb in her heavily intoxicated state, including furniture and men. We were treated to her imitation of a human chamois as she proceeded to soap the windscreen of her best friend’s 1988 Laser with her breasts, greeting onlookers with her t-shirtless wet t-shirt competition. My favourite moment would be when she had to remove all but two of her twenty piercings, three of which were tongue piercings. It was nice to see her upholding the the slut manifesto – if you run out of orrifices, just drill another.