A nightclub promoter is enforcing a strict dress code in an attempt to rid violence and dance floor melees. The promoter of Dorcia, a night at Melbourne’s Ding Dong says that their policy will eradicate the “sports jock mentality” that can be found at many club nights. There have been cries of outrage saying that the move is discriminatory and the ‘metrosexuals’* they are targeting have equal right to be afforded entry.

Why don’t we take a peek at some of their requests?

No white pointed leather shoes. I do believe they are referring to the pleather monstrosities that can be purchased from any mediocre footwear retailer along Chapel Street or Doncaster Shoppo. Despite their generally displeasing shape, those who wear these chisel-toed winklepickers seldom maintain them as  white shoes should be maintained and pair them with dark clothing — massive faux pas. I love a French pun.

No polo shirts with popped collars. If anything suggests douchebag, this is it. Put your collar down, it’s not raining.

No blonde tipped hair or dyed rats’ tails. This goes without saying. Is it 1991, Matthew Perry?

No low-cut V-neck t-shirts. These are worn by two types: gym junkies and fatties. The former wear them to expose their protein shake-enhanced décolletage, the latter to give the illusion that their beer-enhanced man boobs are, in fact, pecs. No excuses: put them away.

No t-shirts with numbers on them. A rating out of one hundred of your sexual prowess (or lack thereof), perhaps? As for sixty-nine, wearing it emblazoned on your chest tells everyone that you’re regularly configured like a zero … think about it.

No Ed Hardy. Something we can all agree on: Ed Hardy should be worn by registered sex offenders as punishment.

Let us glance upon this delightful image taken from the Herald Sun website:

Source: Herald Sun

Left:  Great, so you’ve been to Bangkok and drank the banned-everywhere-else-but-Thailand rocket fuel Red Bull. Was it really necessary to buy the singlet? See me after school. Centre: So you think that the fact you can bench press a baby rhino and your jeans look like Swiss cheese makes you cool? The rules for low-cut tops for women also apply to men: do your shirt up – you look like a whore. Also, try to invest in shoes that don’t look like socks. Right: You must be taller than the bar to ride this ride. Your Bata school shoes are a dead giveaway. No ID, no entry, son.

Overall, their demands are reasonable as a means of expunging bad fashion and poor taste from our discos. So what if a few people are going to get their Calvins in a twist over it? There are plenty of other sub-par venues that will allow them sip their suburban-and-Coke in angst.

* The Herald Sun‘s definition of ‘metrosexual’ is clearly open to interpretation.

(Source: Herald Sun)

What are your thoughts on the metrosexual issue? Leave your comments below.

I do believe there’s more for you to read: