The big race has arrived: it’s the Melbourne Cup Carnival and we have our I Do Believe I Came with a Hat correspondents roaming the grounds of Flemington Racecourse to capture the crimes against fashion and good behaviour. We’ll be posting a live feed* of the worst offenders, so be sure to check back for regular updates as the day progresses and the spectacles become progressively worse! If you’d like to join in on the action, please e-mail your photos to carnage@icamewithahat.com. Never mind the picture quality: we understand it’s hard to be surreptitious and capture the moment. Let the race begin!
* Mobile phone network coverage congestion prevailing.
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- And they're off! White shoes, black suit and they haven't even left Flinders Street Station.
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- Accesorising with a pink Coles shopping bag screams, "Don't worry, I've brought my own bacon and eggs for tomorrow morning."
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- Purple reigned.
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- One day my prints will come.
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- Condiment coordination.
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- "Melbourne Cup Day? I thought I was here to be your bridesmaid."
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- If you're still sinking with a supportive heel it's time to lay off the Krispy Kreme.
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- The toilet paper's sticking to your shoe because your ankle boots look like crap.
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- "Oh, you're here to mow the lawns? You shouldn't have got so dressed up for the occasion."
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- Bun as big as flower; flower bigger than head.
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- Hallowe'en relic headgear.
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- "I brought my pool pony. Surely that counts for something?"
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- Every night is ladies' night when you're this guy.
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- Like you need armour; no one's going to steal those.
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- "A sturdy rump and defined forequarter. Let's get this filly on the scales."
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- Either someone forgot to wear a belt or didn't make it to the port-a-loos in time.
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- Apparently the salon was out of tandoori and only had rogan josh.
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- Barefoot bride.
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- Barefoot and pregnant.
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- Ladette in lilac.
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- A rubber thong's breadth from a needlestick injury.
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- Now that's how to do sunburn. We have skin cancer on line one for you.
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- BOOM! Clear bra straps AND sunburn. I'll have a one-way ticket to Bogantown, thanks!
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- Corey, is that you?
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- Complete devastation.
(With thanks to Matt McLup, Jugs and Bec Rochester)
I do believe there’s more for you to read:
In short
Decoding the Dress Code
Congratulations—You're Pregnant! Now Don't Make Me Have to Slap You
Tied Up: Fine and Dandy Shop's Fall Collection
Turn Page in Case of Emergency: Bender Bound Concealed Booze Books
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by icamewithahat: Check the feed regularly at http://bit.ly/1ZoVjT and mark off your Tramp Bingo scorecard http://bit.ly/1DkxgI The horror!…