Last week, we asked your opinion on how you would deal with nocturnal and vocal neighbours who just don’t know how to say ‘no’ when they’re saying, “yes, yes, yes!” Well, the results are in and 25% of you said you would rather pull the pillow over your head and suffer in silence. That said, 21% of you said you would knock on the door and join in, so my faith in depravity is restored.
The whole affair reminds me of going to meditation classes at a Chinese herbalist friend’s house. Hey, I might be wearing metallic Alexander McQueen derbies today, but I’m a hippy at heart. Half-way through the meditation, we would hear Singstar power up on the Playstation and the blissful couple commencing their foreplay by singing a duet of Bon Jovi’s ‘Living on a Prayer’ together. The final fifteen minutes of our trance was accompanied by the soundtrack of all-out carnal sex set to eighties pop rock. Inspiring and sexy.
So here’s a little something to put you in the mood. No need for scented candles or rose petals, just scatter a few cigarette butts around, douse yourself in bourbon, vomit in the corner and just go for it!
Published on 1 December 2009 by Agony Uncle