One’s offspring can often provide a convincing excuse to skive off work when that post-Christmas party hangover makes it impossible to rise in the morning. “I’m sorry, but little Johnny has gastro” could quite easily be “I’ve been driving the porcelain bus” and an immediate reprieve from office duties without question. For those of us who remain childless, absenteestism is automatically treated with suspicion, so how do singles with their orginal waistlines intact fight back? Imaginary children.
Enter The Office Kid, an invention by self-proclaimed “20-something childless office drones” who were tired of getting lumped with the graveyard shift while their childbearing colleagues were at home with their snotty-nosed brats. For US$19.95 you receive an instant kid kit, including a framed picture of a child (of which you can pick the gender and ethnicity), original children’s artwork for display above your desk and a welcome letter with suggested excuses. For a small fee, you can order additional artwork, doctors’ notes and a Photoshopped sports team photographs.
The idea is simply inspired and regardless of ethical arguments, an imaginary child will never be seen nor heard. Now, if only you could teach it to mix a martini …
Published on 20 February 2010 by Agony Uncle