Dear Agony Uncle,

One of my friends messaged me on Grindr and sent me his photo without knowing it was me. I choose to disguise my identity for these exact reasons, and now I feel I should say something. What should I do?

Grindr Grounded, Darlinghurst

Dear Grindr Grounded,

The next wave in slutiness, Grindr is the tool of every aspiring strumpet, allowing gay (and everything in-between) males to search each other out in pinpoint GPS accuracy—kind of like a compass that’s always facing south. As with any form of online dating, it’s fraught with running into someone you know, someone you dated once, or someone you chanced upon—read one-night stand—and never expected to see again.

Why, my promiscuous friend, Julio (name changed to protect those he has terrorrised) has a collection of the screen captures of all of the freaks of Grindr who huddle in the dark corners of cyberspace, waiting to be released upon whomever is of a similar twisted persuasion. Ferret-wielding fatties, pencil-thin arched eyebrows on heavily beaten mugs, leather enthusiasts and god forbid, women who mistakenly believe they’re on a unisex dating site and wonder why they still never have any luck at love!

Discretion is always key when it comes to these types of matters, so taking a screen capture of your friend and sniggering about it with your cohorts isn’t the solution. If it bothers you so, wait until the appropriate moment to pull your friend aside and have a little tête-à-tête. Your confessional words will not only allay your conscience, but they might act as a cautionary lesson to your friend who might behave more prudently in the future. Perhaps he’ll realise that the supposed anonymity that comes with online dating is beyond guarantee and that he should be more selective to whom he distributes his identity. Laugh about it together, pull out your iPhones and favourite each other on Grindr and be thankful that the only part of your friend’s anatomy you have seen is his face!

I do believe there’s more for you to read: