Corrupting Young Minds One Word at a Time: “My First Dictionary”

Published on 8 February 2011 by Agony Uncle

The way the youth of today are taught, it’s surprising they have ever attended an educational institution at all. The definitions of ‘you’re’, ‘your’ and ‘yore’ are always bothersome; and as for ‘two’, ‘to’ and ‘too’, well it’s almost a lost cause. No wonder we have school shootings.

From first-time author, Ross Horsley, his blog-turned-book My First Dictionary: Corrupting Young Minds One Word at a Time is a morbidly hilarious tome that’s certainly not for children. With his own special brand of black humour, he amends the captions of the illustrations taken from the 1977 book The Giant Picture Dictionary for Boys and Girls for updated and twisted definitions of the modern lexicon.

As self-described mild-mannered librarian from Leeds, Horsley toys with themes of homicide, infanticide, terrorism and lesbianism. According to my My First Dictionary, “A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens” and “A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies.”