When I was in my final throes of secondary education the school formal was the highlight of the year for most girls and a select group of Kylie Minogue fans. Preparations would begin early in the year and would culminate the last fifteen minutes before climbing in the oh-so-tacky stretch limousine, a glass of non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice in hand (and a hip flask of vodka in one’s pocket). There was the plucking, the tanning, the blowdrying, the tears, the tantrums and of course, the eternal search for the ultimate dress.

Pity this poor Wisconsin girl for she didn’t even have the choice. Her mother collected Starburst lolly wrappers for six years in order to make a kindergarten art project dress that puts the ‘oh’ in ‘ghetto’. Spare a though for her poor boyfriend, Zane who is unimpressed by the whole arrangement but knows best to shut up and wear the waistcoat so he can get to third base at the after party. Check it out below:

I do believe there’s more for you to read: