So you’re off to the races and your outfit is to die for? There’s just one thing left to do to ensure you’re the beau/belle of the ball: it’s time to brush up on your speaking points because you don’t just want your fascinator to be fascinating.

Ascot Conversation Dos and Don’ts

DON’T get too tipsy to be captivating. It sounds so simple but bears repeating—champagne is a friend, not a crutch.

DON’T start heavy discussions. Ascot is a place for elegance and a little frivolity, not for finally proving your point about nuclear power and heavy metals. You are having a conversation, not a debate.

DO engage with other people. The easiest way to be fascinating is to be fascinated. Listen to whom you are speaking and try to find something interesting that you both have in common. What brought them to Ascot? Have they been before? How did they select their hat?

DO use open-ended questions as they’re more fruitful ground for conversation. “Are you glad Pippa is single?” could lead to a yes or no but “What are your thoughts on Pippa?” is more likely to lead to a tête-à-tête.

DO relax and be yourself. It’s a beautiful day, you’re about to drink champagne and you’re surrounded by good hats. Smile, and imagine yourself having a wonderful time. Studies show that visualising yourself getting along with other people actually makes a difference.

Some Facts About Ascot to Use in a Tight Conversational Spot

• Before 1955, divorcées were barred from entering the Royal Enclosure. Convicted criminals and undischarged bankrupts remain barred.
  Possible speaking point inside the enclosure: “It’s nice to be somewhere Jeffrey Archer cannot attend.”
• Her Majesty, The Queen and the Royal Party normally attend each official day of Royal Ascot. The Royal Procession is scheduled to take place before racing at 2.00pm each day.
  Speaking point around 1.30pm: Say nothing: insouciance is priceless.
• Queen Elizabeth II first attended Royal Ascot in 1945 at the age of 19.
  Speaking point: “When did your love affair with racing begin?”
• Over 300,000 people attend over the five days of the Royal Ascot meet. Crowds peak on Ladies Day.
  Speaking point: “Do you think attendance is up this year? I do believe the Royal Wedding has buoyed people’s spirits.”
• 73 feet separate the highest and lowest points of the track which means the gradient of the course is one of the toughest in Britain.
  Speaking points: “Those brave horses …” NB. This is a potentially opportune time to raise the subject of one’s favourite horses in history.
• One of the scenes in My Fair Lady (featuring the song Ascot Gavotte) is set at Ascot however, awkwardly, the horses in the movie run in the wrong direction. The black and white costumes in the scene were designed by Cecil Beaton and inspired by the “Black Ascot” of 1910, when the court was in mourning for Victoria’s son, Edward VII and everyone wore black to Ascot.
  Speaking point: “Who here looks most like Audrey Hepburn?
• The racecourse was also used as a filming location in A View to a Kill, the 1985 Bond movie, starring Roger Moore as Bond. The movie’s villain (Max Zorin played by Christopher Walken) had horses competing in a race.
  Speaking point: Discuss favourite Bond. Express concern over November 2012 release date for next Bond film.
• Around 185,000 bottles of champagne, 11,000 lobsters and 1.4 tonnes of beef are consumed are imbibed during Royal Ascot.
  Speaking point: “Perhaps it is time for another canapé?”
• Mark Johnston has been the top trainer at Royal Ascot over the last five years, boasting nearly 20% of all race wins.
  Speaking point: “What is his secret?”
• In 2008, bookmakers suspended bets on the type of headwear the Queen would be wearing after speculation she may don a fascinator rather than a hat.
  Speaking point: Thoughts on her attire this year. NB. Remain positive at all times—it’s her day.

I do believe there’s more for you to read: