Short and sweet, here are the pressing issues (well, some of them) for your Agony Uncle this week.
Oh, and if you like these shorts, you can buy them here from ASOS.

What’s the meanest thing anyone as ever said to you?

Misery, Portland, OR

I don’t like your shoes.

What is some inferior literature I can mention in conversation that will make my opponent appear stupid if they agree it is good?

E.T., Twitter

Anything from Dan Brown’s omnibus springs to mind, or perhaps Snooki’s foray into fiction-writing. Then again, why would you want to public admit to having read either, nor why would you be talking to someone who would agree that the aforementioned classify as literature? Move along and be nice.

What’s the best way to give Wal-Mart your notice? It’s my first job.

Ophelia, Wichita, KA

Ophelia, get thee to a nunnery! Why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners? Just give them your obligatory two weeks’ notice, thank them for the opportunity and move on to greener pastures. Life is too short to be stuck there.

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