“You say I only hear what I want to,” sang Lisa Loeb. Well get your statement plastic glasses on, prance around in an empty room with random bed heads against the wall and listen to this. Lobe Wonder is allowing countless women with torn or damaged earlobes to throw off the shackles of their affliction and again productive, earring filled lives.

Let’s just stop for a moment and say the word ‘lobe’ five times. Is it just me, or does it sound a bit smutty? Weird. Anyway …

With an “undetectable”, hypoallergenic clear patch that is applied to the back of the ear, Lobe Wonder helps protect your lobes against tearing from the weight of earrings. The patch bears much of the weight of the earring, which takes the heat off your precious ear lobe. If you’ve been giving the door-knockers a good thrashing, it might be time to consider Lobe Wonder.

A little known fact: cross-dresser, Edward Hyde, 3rd Earl of Clarendon, was said to be such an ear fetishist that he delivered a a “flowery panegyric* on his wife’s ears” after which he invited every gentleman present to feel precisely how shell-like they were. I’m going to go out on a limb here and warn that this could happen to you with Lobe Wonder.

Now, could you please clear something up for us? Are Lisa Loeb’s lobes pierced?

* aka a speech, but what a great word of the day, no?

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