Dear Agony Uncle,

What is the social ettiquette on contacting someone after an encounter of the one-night variety when you don’t have their phone number? I met a lovely guy about a week ago and he begged for my phone number when he dropped me home in the morning but I didn’t get his. He talked about genuinely wanting to see me again but I was too concerned with being cool and mysterious to let him know I wanted the same. Now a week has passed and all I have is his first name and address … snail mail would be a bit creepy, right?

The Letter Lass, Melbourne

Dear Letter Lass,

One-night stands: they happen occasionally and when they do they’re usually a great idea … until the morning. No longer with the poncho of darkness to conceal your shameful walk with hair and clothing askew, the cruel light of day reveals to the more observant exactly what you’ve been doing. You’re just lucky your gentleman caller (or is that your gentleman called-upon?) was chivalrous enough to deliver you home and not shove you out in the cold while you were still dripping.

Fortunately for you, it sounds like you lucked in with this particular individual, however, unfortunately the whole “I’ll let him chase me” game might have backfired. Unfortunately, contemporary life isn’t like My Fair Lady and suitors will seldom make a pilgrimage to the street where you live—that’s what restraining orders are for.

There are two schools of thought on the matter: he either took your number out of sincere interest or out of polite obligation; but being a man myself, you would have been turfed out with your shoes and handbag under your arm and given a rating out of ten had you been merely a conquest. He’s probably chickened out as you didn’t give him any evidence to support his wanting to contact you again.

My advice is as such: buy a small greeting card and write him a note. Ensure the size of the card is small so you don’t write a ten-page epistle about how much you enjoyed your night of passion and use brevity to your benefit. A simple “Call me sometime” is sufficient communication and should be enough to pique his intrigue, then put it in an envelope, address it and mail it. Putting it directly into his letter box might seem like a sweet and thoughtful gesture, however, some individuals might have the opposite reaction and be creeped out by the thought of your staking out his premises. I mean, if you wanted that outcome, you’d get creative with some kerosene and burn your phone number into his front lawn, now wouldn’t you?

I do believe there’s more for you to read: