With only a handful of days until Christmas, you may already have started to receive cards. Yes, cards—those little missives of good cheer and a vague sense of guilt because you haven’t done anything about yours. Do you find it weird that the cards are from people you have seen only half an hour ago and say, “Dear you [generic printed greeting] from me”? So do I.

But this is a long-standing tradition as a trip to Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, A Complete guide to traditional forms and modern usage by Millicent Fenwick, 1948 will attest:

Christmas cards are the only ones sent as a matter of course. Incidentally, none should be called a “greeting card.” [Dear heavens, no. You may as well be socially dead.] It is unnecessary but not, of course, incorrect to write a message on a Christmas card. It need only be signed, as a letter would be. As in letter writing, no title should be used in the signature. “Mrs.” or “Mr.” is wrong [but feel free to push the envelope with "Baroness" - if you have the title, why not flaunt it?]. Correct are signatures such as “Mary” or “Mary Andrews.”

Christmas cards are an odd hangover from an era when cards were a blood sport and you were meant to know things like the fact that when the names were engraved the order of names is reversed so that the lady’s name comes first. I can’t believe you didn’t know that.

In these more modern times, here are some tips on how to live in the card now while remaining a picture of class:

1. Sure, you’re a shiksa and you’ve been celebrating the Baby Jeebus’ birth all your life, but the reason why there’s all those Happy Holidays messages is that as it turns out, not everyone cares about the birth of the Christ. It’s fine to be excited about the Three Wise Men (Melchior, Caspar and Balthasar in case there’s a quiz or you are looking for unusual-yet-not-bogan Christmas baby names), but don’t be crass. If you know the recipient is of another religion, send a card that’s sensitive to that fact. It’s not necessary to deny the existence of Christmas (the glittering aisles of the supermarket will have made this impossible for your acquaintance) but telling them to have a great Christmas is a clanger. “Have a great break,” or “Hope you enjoy time with your family,” are perfectly acceptable.

2. You don’t have to send a card to everyone in your contact list—you can be choosy. Except for those weirdos keeping a list (and who wants to hang with them anyway), most people see the receipt of a card as a bonus, not an entitlement.

3. If you have time to personalise the greeting, do so. It demonstrates elegance and that you are considerate. If you haven’t seen them for a while, be sure to include details of your year and ask after theirs. The best way to be interesting is always to be interested.

4. Handwrite your cards. If all the greetings are printed (including your name at the bottom and there’s no salutation to them personally) how can they tell that your secretary didn’t do the whole thing? Where’s the love, people?

5. It is not completely wrong to send an online greeting card if the card is (a) attractive and (b) you personalise it. For serious intentions, try Egreetings.com or Blue Mountain. For a more humorous take, go for someecards or uncooked (a paid online card which shows you’re living in the now but you’re not cheap).

I do believe there’s more for you to read: