The most civilised of summer sports is croquet, which, incidentally, is yet to be desecrated by hipsters then bogans respectively for sheer impracticality of carting metal hoops around on a fixie and planting them into the halfpipe at a local skate park. That and the lack of cheap and subsidised beer à la a bowls club. Possibly the next most refined—albeit mainstream—sport that dominates the warmer months is tennis, which is a year-round pilgrimage to tournaments globally as the game follows the sun like a weather-worn retiree.
Tennis is a game of athletic skill, adept coordination and extreme concentration, and while on the court centuries of protocol dictate the conduct of players, off the court, similar etiquette lore applies to spectators. Whilst high profile matches are played in large stadiums, many of the matches take place at neighbouring show courts and the players’ proximity to spectators is within spitting distance. Of course, spitting is strongly discouraged.
So as the sun beats down and the players engage in some truly carnal grunting, being well-behaved and a good sport is essential. Here are our tips to avoid a John McEnroe-style torrent of castigation:
Audience Participation
Tennis is an exciting game and while it largely involves lobbing a ball back and forth across a court, seeing the little yellow ball of fuzz kept in the air is more interesting that you think. Besides, it’s a really good for a perv—no one has calves as defined as a tennis player. As an audience member, your role is to watch with the right level of engagement that befits a game that is largely played in a silent environment.
When the referee—that’s the person in the high chair—asks for “Quiet please,” do just that. Any noises can affect players’ concentration and thus, their game, so quit talking about the latest episode of The Real Housewives and save it for after the match. As rallies are played longer, the game can become increasingly exciting. It’s customary to ooh and ah as each shot demonstrates dexterity and skill. Once the point has been awarded, then large cheers and applause are encouraged, if anything to spur the players on. Good sports make good audiences and all support should be made in a positive manner. Booing and catcalling are strongly discouraged.
Electronic Devices
While gadgets aid our functioning in our lives, they can certainly hinder politesse. Tennis is played during the day, or if played at night, under lights, so flash photography is entirely unnecessary. Of course, when concentrating on hitting something in the air the size of a tennis ball, flashes from the grandstands are distracting. Flashers in the grandstands are equally distracting, but at least forty times as hilarious.
Furthermore, as with any organised public event, it’s polite to silence your mobile phone. Not only is it rude to take calls or have your phone ring during play, it’s disrespectful and disruptive to others. Of course, sometimes it’s not the spectators’ fault:
Stay Seated
If you’re someone who finds it difficult to sit still for lengthy periods, then perhaps tennis isn’t for you. All spectators are required to stay in their seats until there is a break between games and it is heavily enforced by venue staff. Don’t be “that guy” who’s fidgeting and pushing through crowds during play. If you’ve hit the sauce throughout the day, then perhaps you’d be better seated in bar watching the match on television. Or at a football match.
Published on 17 January 2012 by Agony Uncle