Have you ever been to a hens’ night where they ask the bride-to-be questions they’ve already asked the groom-to-be and compare the results to hilarious effect? I am sure this does not happen at bucks’ nights so, gentlemen, just bear with me. Now you can play this game throughout your marriage rather than having actual conversations [...]

We’ve all heard them: the horrible faux pas uttered by the ignoramuses who plague we, the learned. It’s baffling how one cannot speak one’s own native tongue, particularly those monosyllabic words that infants can master that still provide consternation for some adults. Perhaps it’s Sharon in Payroll who errs on a regular basis, each time her mispronunciation grating [...]

As we enter this jaunty transitional season, the snow is beginning to melt in the southern hemisphere and we are looking forward to the wonder of frozen water falling from the sky in the north. It’s time to brush up on your ski etiquette and fashion because snow bunnies are made, not born. Dress Code If [...]

Dear Agony Uncle, Joy! I’ve been invited to a wedding! The problem is that the theme for it is ‘Bohemian Formal’—what on earth is that!? Rohypnol Rhapsody, Melbourne Dear Rohypnol Rhapsody (if that’s even your real name), It seems everyone is getting married these days, what with marriage equality in states and countries with an [...]

You know how it is: one moment your heart is melting at the sight of him; the next, you would like to melt him down like Arnold at the end of Terminator 2. And now rather than kidnapping him and travelling to the manufacturing belt to find a vat of molten steel, you can purchase a [...]

The first time I saw someone in my workplace wearing sequins in the daytime, I was torn between asking whether they were channeling Liberace at the Bellagio or whether they were nattily dressing early for an after-work cocktail party. As time went on, I saw more and more glitz in the office and started to [...]

So for a while now the gays have had all the fun with Grindr, the iPhone, BlackBerry and Android app that allows you to find other Kylie fans by GPS location. Enter Blendr: the new Grindr for everyone of every persuasion and orientation. Made by those who brought Grindr to the handsets of every practising and aspiring homosexual, [...]

So you’re finally cutting the apron strings or mother bird has shoved you from the nest after tolerating teenage (or middle-aged) angst and skid-marked loads of washing for a little too long? It doesn’t matter whether you’re nineteen, twenty-nine, or forty-nine (I’m looking at you, Norman Bates) when the time will come for you to [...]

Dear Agony Uncle, How do I tell my housemate nicely that she really needs to close her mouth while she chews? Seriously, she is a 20-year-old! Chewed Up, Brisbane Dear Chewed Up, Chewing with one’s mouth closed is one of the simplest bodily functions that divides the cultured from the zoo animals, yet so many [...]

As I hurtle towards my thirties in real life—Photoshop is forever on the Internet—I’ve discovered the sluggish metabolism that comes with it. Whenever anyone told me that pork in my prime would be imminent, I’d always replied, “Oh no, I digest food really quickly; I’ll be fine.” Oh how I was wrong. Admittedly we’re talking [...]